Sunday, June 3, 2012

Second Sunday in Guangzhou


June 3, 2010

Matthew had a rough time going to sleep tonight. We’ve moved to the Garden Hotel, which is like staying in a palace, truly, but it’s a new space for him, and I could tell he was a little out of sorts in an unfamiliar bedroom and crib tonight. I fed him his bottle, then sang to him and snuggled him for quite a while. Then I tried putting him down.

But of course he’d have nothing of it. He stood in his crib and jabbered for a long time. It’s a hard situation for me because if this were Maya or Sam at 18 months, reluctant to go to sleep, I would have just let them fuss in their cribs until they finally wore themselves out. But they were well-attached by the time they were a few months old, and I could tell when they needed something specific from me and when they were just tired.

And in some ways Matthew is like a new infant. We are still learning his signals, and it’s an important time to attach to him. He’s also spent the past 18 months likely crying himself to sleep in his crib at the orphanage, and we want to make sure his experience with us is opposite of that. We want to make sure he knows that we’re here to help him through hard nights, instead of him having to tend to his needs on his own.

Letting him cry it out was not an option. But we were all tired tonight, from the heat, the move to a new hotel (although we’re VERY glad to be here) and a trip to the zoo this afternoon that was a fun adventure but left us exhausted and dehydrated.

So after my hour-long effort at getting Matthew to bed with no avail, Aaron traded places with me. It got quiet in the bedroom. Then, just a couple minutes ago, I peeked my head in, and I found both my guys fast asleep on the bed, the little one wrapped up in the arms of the big one.

What a gift this miracle of adoption is, the way that both mama and daddy can share equally in the parenting responsibilities. While I miss the chance to nurse Matthew, something I relished with both Maya and Sam, it’s such a blessing to see Aaron take an equal role in caring for Matthew, winding him down, and getting him to fall asleep.

And when I think of our boy, and all the many transitions he’s experienced in the past week, I’d do anything to make sure he feels surrounded by love and care for a very long while.

One week ago tonight, Matthew was in Guangzhou, spending the night with one of the nannies from the orphanage, in a hotel in anticipation of meeting us the next day. One week ago, we didn’t know this amazing human being who is now our son. On Tuesday, we’ll join other adoptive families at the United States Consulate and take an oath together to care for these children whom we’ve waited for, longed for, and prayed for. Then Matthew will truly be our boy, although in our hearts he’s been our boy for many months now.

We have four nights here at the Garden Hotel—with days in the middle that are pretty slow in terms of pace and activities (which might drive us a little crazy) and then a long plane ride home through the wee hours of the morning, and an exciting arrival at Sea-Tac on Thursday when Matthew will finally meet his big sister and brother (and perhaps one set of grandparents, an auntie, and a cousin too). As the days and weeks go on, he will meet his other set of grandparents, two more aunties, and two more uncles, and a whole host of extended family and friends. There are many more transitions ahead for him, but Aaron and I both hope that our presence for him will be a constant, a comfort, as we move through the days together.

At the zoo today, we saw so many families with kids, out for a Sunday trip to see the animals. Some looked at us strangely—one even pretended to look at the plant directly behind me so she could stand right beside me and stare at my son’s face (I wanted to punch that particular lady, but of course instead I was gracious and composed as I should be). I’m sure they wonder what we are doing—why we are coming halfway across the world to adopt a child with a cleft lip and palate.

I can understand their questions, their wonderings . . . and I don’t likely have any kind of logical answer for them. But I do know that this child, this sweet boy, is already knit into our hearts in ways I will never be able to put words to. He is already so familiar to us—his expressions and movements, his sounds and smells—and we would do it all over again—go through the process, pay the money, endure the waiting and the anxiety—just to be with this little boy forever.

We’re in this amazing, luxurious suite in this deluxe hotel (we don’t stay in hotels this fancy back in the United States, I’ll honestly admit), and I’m grateful for the space to stretch out, but it doesn’t matter, really. What matters is that we’ve finally gotten our son, and in a few days we’re headed home to make our family of five complete (FINALLY!).

And in the mean time, I’m trying to soak up every last minute of our time here in China. It’s been a long journey, requiring patience, endurance, creativity and resiliency, but it’s also been a gift to see another part of the world, spend this treasured time with Matthew, and do it all with probably my favorite person in the whole world (yes, I mean Aaron!).

We have a few more adventures ahead of us, with three more full days in Guangzhou. Stay along for a little while yet, if only to see how this journey ends. As my grandma Marion (Gonna) always said to me, “Just take today for today, dear—you never know what tomorrow will bring.”

She’s right—you NEVER know.


Matthew was still eating when we got to the zoo, so Aaron carried him on his back so he could finish. Food’s REALLY important to our boy


Not exactly sure what this was trying to convey: perhaps that we all come full circle? Also, what IS the 6th character holding in his hand?


This might be the first hint of a smile I’ve gotten from Matthew in a photo during this trip.


At the zoo—Matthew’s really into the ostrich


A mama snuggle


Family photo outside the Guangzhou Zoological Gardens

No comments:

Post a Comment