Hold On For the Ride: Children's Day

June 1, 2012

Before I start on this post, I wanted to just tell everyone how much we have appreciated each emailed note to us the past couple of days. I read each one aloud to Aaron, and while we don’t have the time or energy to reply personally to each of you, we are SO grateful to hear from you. Please keep up the little email notes—they are so encouraging to us. We do look forward to talking with each of you in person when we are home, but in the mean time, it’s meant so much to hear from you. You should continue sending email messages to my hotmail account: annemarie_russell@hotmail.com.

Today, June 1, is Children’s Day in China. We spent the day sightseeing with our guide Sarah, and we were treated to the sights and sounds of children being loved and celebrated today. On Children’s Day, all the schools are closed, and children are taken out to parks, playgrounds, ice cream shops, stores, and favorite restaurants. The mood here was upbeat and lively—there were SO many children everywhere, and with the children were, of course, their parents and grandparents too.

Contrary to what we Americans may think, children are VERY special in China. Especially because of the very strict “only child” policy of recent years, children are treasured and cared for. I asked Sarah today all about the policy—how the Chinese people feel about it—and how they have reacted to being told how many children they can have. Sarah said she thinks that Chinese people understand their population is high, and most people were very willing to comply with the policy. She also assured me that while 10-20 years ago some people were very focused on having boys and boys only, she really believes that the culture has changed and most parents are excited to have a daughter. While they aren’t proud of all the abandoned children created by the policy, most people really love and treasure their children, even their daughters.

The culture has changed in other ways too, making this adoration of daughters possible. In 2012, both men and women in China work outside the home. Women are capable of making a good income. There isn’t a very strong retirement or social security policy in China, so most people rely on their children to care for them as they age. While in past years it was nearly impossible for a daughter to care for her parents without a husband, now it’s quite possible. Sarah herself is a product of the only child system, a loved and doted-on daughter who isn’t yet married, but who would be totally capable of supporting her parents in their older age if she doesn’t have a husband at that point.

Anyhow, back to the children. I was so delighted to see the way children are valued and treasured in this culture. Many children we saw were accompanied by their grandparents, which Sarah told me is very common in China. Parents work, and most grandparents EXPECT to care for their grandchildren. They are “insulted,” Sarah said, if they are not asked to be a child’s caregivers. We saw so much affection from grandparents to children today—what a blessing. I took some photos during our walk through the park, which I’ll have Kaitlin attach to the end of this email so you can see for yourself.

I have to tell you also that Matthew LOVED all the children we saw today. His favorite place is snuggled in the Ergo carrier, right next to me, looking out at the world. He’s easily lulled and falls asleep in that position too—which I think is a marvel, considering that he likely never slept anywhere but his crib for the first 18 months of his life. But it’s obvious that he lived in an orphanage with all sorts of children—and we see that in the way he perks up whenever there are kids around. I have a feeling he’s going to get home to Everett and think to himself, “thank GOODNESS there are two other kids who live in my house with me, and not just these two strange, boring adults.”

If you’re sending thoughts or prayers our way, we’d appreciate thoughts/prayers for health. All three of us are coughing and sneezing a lot—we’re thinking that maybe we’re passing around a family cold. Also, Matthew isn’t showing much interest in food, and today he ate/drank very little. I think it’s likely just the adjustment to a new routine and new caregivers, but I’m starting to feel a little worried about it.

I’m still homesick, but it’s getting better, and we have a pretty full schedule from now until Thursday morning, when we fly home to Seattle. It feels so wonderful to have some people we know, to see the sights, and to have things on the calendar each day. The days can begin to feel long, and I have to admit that I’ve NEVER spent so much time in a hotel room. However, I’ve developed a fond taste for TsingTao (Chinese beer) and also for Coke Zero, which is everywhere. Alternating between caffeine (earlier in the day) and beer (later in the day) proves to move the hours along more quickly than they would if we abstained. Aaron’s been known to pour himself a rum and Coke (or two) during the day too (although ALWAYS after noon, don’t worry). And I’ll also admit that we did cave and have Subway sandwiches for dinner tonight—just a somewhat familiar texture and taste was a nice change.

Oh—we had fast food Chinese style for lunch today, at a restaurant that’s called _____ Kung Fu (can’t remember the beginning). Anyhow, guess who is the mascot for the restaurant? BRUCE LEE. His face was on every cup and bowl. I had some tasty spiced pork, rice, stir-fried lettuce (sounds weird, but it’s actually good) and a Pepsi. I took a picture of it for you to see—it’s the Big Mac meal, Chinese style.

And one last thing: we’ve been quietly chuckling to ourselves about some of the English translations on the signs and billboards around Guangzhou. Last night we were swimming on the swimming pool at the top of our hotel, and next to the hazardous-looking metal railing, a sign read “Please don’t across the railing.” We laughed and laughed, changing “across” to “accost,” so in our minds, the sign read: “Please don’t accost the railing.” You know—even railings deserve their own privacy and safety! Tee hee.

Sending love and hugs all the way across the Pacific Ocean to all of you (or just across the river to you, Rebecca, in Hong Kong!). Thanks for continuing to read along on this crazy adventure of adoption in China. Please send an extra dose of love out to Maya tomorrow (June 2) on her birthday. We are sad to miss spending the day with her, but we will call and talk to her, and we have planned a really fun party next Saturday when we are home.