Sorry the blog has been a little quiet these past few days.
I have to admit that I’m quite overwhelmed right now with this process of
re-entry.
It’s mostly because I haven’t been able to sleep—first
because of jet lag, second because I have an 18-month old who isn’t sleeping
much at night, and third because I’m dealing with some anxiety about the
transition. Aaron and I keep reminding ourselves that we felt the transition
with our homegrown babies too—coming home from the birth center or hospital,
being up a lot at night, trying to establish a new routine and find some
equilibrium. If I could just get a solid night of sleep right now I’d be a
little less weepy and more functional.
That will come, I know.
One of the things about being alive for almost 37 years is
that I have enough wisdom to know this is just a season. We have created an
intentional life for ourselves that, during a normal time, has plenty of room
for rest, play, work and time together. It all feels out of balance right now,
but we will get back to that sometime soon.
In the mean time, we are trying to figure things out here.
Matthew seems to be adjusting quite well. His sleeping schedule is (hopefully)
settling down a little bit, and I can tell he’s getting more comfortable in our
home and with his brother and sister. There are plenty of good times and sweet
moments in the midst of all the re-entry challenges, and we are forging ahead
together, knowing that this all just takes time.
Maya and Sam are particularly fond of their brother, and
they are great about playing with him and spending time with him. Maya has
another two weeks of school (they go LATE this year because they are making up
snow days from the winter) and then she’ll be home with us full days, which
will be lovely. And my parents have been a good support—in fact, my mom is
coming over this afternoon to lend an extra set of hands. I’m hoping to go for
a run and have a moment by myself to think.
We have been so grateful for all the calls and texts the past few days. Several friends have volunteered to bring us meals, which has been AMAZING. I have to admit that I'm not so good at asking for help or accepting help, but right now we need it and we've been so grateful. I'm learning to say a thankful "yes" to everyone's offers.
Here are some more photos from the past few days:
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| Maya's birthday cake, decorated by Aaron |
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| Marmie plays with two of her grandsons |
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| The birthday girl (a week after her birthday) |
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| Love this shot of Parker holding Matthew's hand |
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| The cousins |
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| So glad to be able to squeeze this little person once again! |
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| Our seven year old. |
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| A drooley-faced Matthew boy. |
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| We spend many hours in this position feeding Matthew |
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| My favorite shot so far--three kiddos playing cars on the floor |
Yes, transitions can be overwhelming at times. I wish I were close enough to bring a meal or tend children for a bit! Sending my love and prayers, instead. I, too, love that photo of the three kids playing with cars. And I have to say (I hope this doesn't offend) that I am getting quite used to Matthew's appearance. When you first began posting photos of him, his mouth structure always seemed a bit of a shock to me, but now it just seems like Matthew.
ReplyDeleteI remember that with my own babies, hitting the 6-week mark always seemed like a big milestone. It felt like we turned a corner right around 6 weeks. Perhaps it will be that way with bringing Matthew home, too. And I wonder if you'll run into times of disequilibrium around those growth-spurt phases that breastfeeding babies hit at "the 3s and 6s" (3 weeks, 6 weeks, 3 months, 6 months). Maybe that's silly, but I think it's healthy to have periods or cycles when we can expect that things will be out of kilter for a while before they settle back in again.
Sending love!