Hold On For the Ride: It's a Boy!

May 28, 2012

We are happy to announce the joyous arrival of our third child: Matthew Oscar Xu-Bo Russell, on his 18-month birthday.

At approximately 2:30 pm today, May 28, 2012, Aaron and I arrived at the Civil Affairs Office of Guangdong Provence with our guide, Sarah, and another WACAP family from Texas who were adopting their second son. Neither Aaron nor I had any idea what to expect.

When we walked in the room, the sound of wailing children and excited adult voices were deafening—it was the most intense moment I think I’ve ever experienced. We looked around for our son, realizing that it was likely he was already there, but after making a circle of the room without finding him, Sarah learned that he hadn’t yet arrived. I was already crying, and I joined a corner of other waiting adoptive mamas, one of whom told me, “I know exactly how you feel,” and we cried some more together. The community of shared experiences was such a blessing for me.

We watched some other families meet their children for the first time (a very emotional experience) and finally in walked a woman carrying a boy about Matthew’s size and age. Was this our son? We couldn’t see his face, which would have been a dead give-a-way, so we asked Sarah to go check for us. She walked over, talked to the woman, looked up and gave us the thumbs up. OUR BOY!

Both Aaron and I flew across the room toward the child, and when our sweet Matthew turned his head around, we knew it was him in a second. I, of course, started to sob and reached out my arms for him. “Mama?" the woman asked Sarah, pointing to me. Sarah nodded, and the woman handed my son to me. In an instant I was holding him, and he gripped me so tightly, I was startled. He didn’t make a single sound, just looked at my face and then around the room and then at my face again. Aaron was right beside me, and together we welcomed our third child.

A bit later, we had a chance to sit down with the woman from the orphanage, whose name is Deng Ying Hua, and she answered a bunch of questions for us about Matthew’s past 18 months. The whole time, our boy clung to me, and then to Aaron, a bit bewildered. He was obviously interested in all the noises and activity in the room, but he wasn’t scared like I thought he might be—in fact, he appeared mostly curious.

Around 3:30, Deng Ying Hua bid Matthew a cheerful, hopeful goodbye and left, and soon after, we climbed back into the WACAP van with our son. I had brought the Ergo carrier, and it was the perfect ride for our boy, who wanted to look out at the world but also held tightly to whomever carried him.

We made a quick stop at a Chinese grocery store to get some formula (a brand recommended by the orphanage), diapers, two little spoons and bowls, and some snacks for Aaron and me. (Ask me about this grocery store experience in person--it's a little too personal to blog about.) Then Sarah deposited us back at our hotel.

Alone together for the first time, Aaron, Matthew and I spent several hours getting to know each other. I undressed my boy and changed his diaper, then dressed him again in a pair of pajamas that had belonged to his cousin Parker. A bit later, Aaron went out to get some dinner for us, and I took a short bath with Matthew. He seemed to really enjoy the warm water.

He played and played, loving the attention from two doting parents. It’s amazing how much we know about him after just being with him for a little over six hours. His favorite toys were the Little People bus, the cars from Bapa, the Little People and animals, and a big colorful beach ball that I brought and blew up for him.

Matthew doesn’t say any words, but he makes all sorts of sing-songy sounds, and although he’s not walking, he’s very skilled at the army crawl and pulling himself up on things. He’s not such a good sitter yet, but he likes to be on his tummy and has good motor skills in general. His eyes are deep brown, his forehead high, and his smile lights up his entire face. He's also a thumb-sucker--his right thumb, mostly, although he'll suck on either. He also likes to play with his hands, watching them carefully. He can cross his fingers, and he also makes the sign language letter "n" with his left hand sometimes (Maya, I know you know what this is!).

He’s quite chubby—sturdier than we expected, although I’m guessing he’s still small for his size. In terms of his development, he seems to be at about the 10-12 month mark (I’m sure a result of living in an orphanage for virtually his entire life). He's really skilled at handling a bottle on his own, although Aaron and I have made a pact to not ever let him drink a bottle without one of us holding him, an opportunity for us to start making up for all the months we’ve lost!

Around 8:00, I made him a small bottle (he had one earlier in the evening too), wrapped him in a blanket, turned down the lights, and held him until he was almost asleep. Just as his eyes were about to close for good, I put away the bottle, gave him about 20 kisses on the cheek and head, and laid him in his crib, on his back. He made one turn onto his belly, then shut his eyes, and now he’s sound asleep.

Whew. We survived a very emotional day, grateful to have our son here with us, and glad to be one step closer to getting home to Maya and Sam so we can begin our lives as a family of five. The only thing strange about today was that Maya and Sam weren’t here to celebrate in this amazing “birth” with us.

I can’t thank our friends and family enough for all the love and support we received today. My inbox was literally flooded with messages and words of encouragement. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to put into words just what this experience was like—if you’ve done it before, you know what is deep in this mama’s heart tonight. But if not, let me just say that right now I feel the same kind of amazement and wonder staring at the beautiful boy sleeping in the crib next to me that I felt the night that Maya and Sam were each born. Every child is a gift, an amazing blessing from God, and I can’t imagine a more perfect addition to the Russell family than Matthew, this sweet boy whom we are so grateful belongs to us now.

And to you, dear ones—he belongs to you too. Thank you for walking beside us thus far. We hope you will continue to join us on this adoption journey—from tonight until the day we land back in Seattle and beyond.