Hold On For the Ride: Xuwen Social Welfare Institute

I’ve stumbled upon something really amazing that I wanted to share, particularly for the Chinese adoptive families reading our blog. Last week, I started doing some research online about Matthew’s orphanage, the Xuwen Social Welfare Institute (Xuwen SWI) and found a Yahoo group that has been in existence for about seven years full of families who have children from Matthew’s same orphanage.

I’ve been reading conversation upon conversation between families who have kids from Xuwen, and I’ve now seen photos of the inside of the orphanage, learned that there have been three research trips taken there where families have received amazing information about their children (details about the finding spot, finding clothes, additional medical records, etc).

Another thing that has been almost life altering for Aaron and me is to learn that many of the children coming home from Xuwen SWI share some of the same challenges upon getting home. Most of them seem to have significant oral aversion or oral motor delays (which Matthew does have, but he’s continuing to move forward in working through them). I’ve also learned that those who have visited the orphanage (several families, a guide, and two researchers) have never seen a single toy inside the orphanage. This would explain Matthew’s slow start with play, and the way he had no idea what to do with the toys we gave him while in China and when we first got home.

Most of the reports from the orphanage are that it is in a very poor area and the staff, though kind and doing the best they can, seem to have very few resources and too many babies (sometimes upwards of 50 in one orphanage).

One other thing I find interesting about the Yahoo group and all the photo of the kids from Xuwen SWI, is that many of the children from the orphanage share similar facial features—in ways that are almost uncanny. I was flipping through the online photo albums tonight, showing Aaron child after child who looked like he or she could be a sibling to Matthew. Deep, brown eyes that are wide in the center and come to a delicate point on either side, creamy easily tanned skin, longish face shapes. A couple other parents, in the conversations I read, remarked that many of the kids who come home from Xuwen SWI look a lot alike, and I would agree. Matthew looks like he fits into that group of kiddos. The “Xuwen cousins,” everyone on the blog calls them.

I’m really excited to join this group—excited about the possibility of finding some ot her families whose children were also in the orphanage when Matthew was there. Excited about the possibility of some day purchasing a book or video that would contain pictures and information about the orphanage and the surrounding area.

At first the photos and stories were hard for me, but tonight I’m SO energized thinking about the gift that this resource is to Aaron and me, for now, and for Matthew in the future. I’m also SO encouraged to hear the updates from families who brought home children from Xuwen in 2006, 2007 and 2008 (and even after) whose kids are thriving after experiencing so many challenges at first. Their kind words, though not directly TO me, obviously, spoke to my heart and reminded me that we are so early into this journey with Matthew.

And what a blessing to have this Yahoo group resource—something I might not have thought to look into were it not for my phone conversation with another adoptive mama out there on Bainbridge Island, who shared that she done the same thing and found good resources about her daughter’s orphanage.

Tonight I’m energized by all the stories and the sense of “virtual” community that the Internet affords a family like ours—desperately wanting connection with Matthew’s story and history—and grateful for all the “new” Xuwen cousins we’ve discovered that Matthew has in the U.S. and around the world this night.

Here are a few photos I’ve found so far of the orphanage.