Hold On For the Ride: Some New Things

It’s been a fun week here on the east coast.

Last Sunday, our family of five flew to Newark, NJ, to spend seven days with my brother Nathan, his wife Keriann, and their four-month old daughter Marielle. We’ve enjoyed some days away from our regular routine, filled with sightseeing, time with family, and a slower pace than we normally keep at home. We have one final day here in New Jersey, and then we head for home again Sunday morning.

It’s also been a big week of milestones for Matthew. It’s funny to have some of these new achievements happen for Matthew away from home—it’s not what I might have expected. But I think here we have more time and energy to focus on our children. It seems like either Aaron or I are playing with Matthew almost every waking moment here—tumbling on the floor, playing games, reading books, singing songs, and just generally interacting.

Here are some of his new skills:

He can now play “ball” in a very real way. Not only will he roll a ball back and forth with another person, but he will also throw the ball (overhand, like a MLS pitcher) and initiate the game.
He does the hand motions to “Wheels on the Bus.”
Tonight he asked me for a bottle of “milk” using the sign—I almost started to cry when he did it.
I asked him earlier this evening if he wanted a bath—he seemed interested, but then I got distracted. He then got really fussy and frustrated—and I couldn’t, for the life of me, figure out what he needed. I finally got down to his level, held out my hand, and said “show me what you need”—and he led me the 14 steps upstairs to the bathroom and literally pushed me into the tub. It dawned on me that he had been promised a bath and was looking forward to it.
He watched his brother and sister do a dance video game on the Wii, then proceeded to stand in front of them and dance to about ten songs in a row. He was so proud of himself
He’s been reading all kinds of Richard Scarry books here—looking at each page carefully, and turning the pages when I ask him to.
And now he can do hand motions to two other songs as well—he starts them when I start to sing.

I know these might seem like little milestones to some people, but to us they are HUGE. We are so grateful that Matthew continues to make forward progress, albeit at his own pace.

We have our appointment with the Neurodevelopmental Center at Children’s Hospital on June 5, which is less than two weeks away. I’m not scared about that visit, but I AM curious to hear what they might say to us about our son. Some part of my mind and heart does wonder in a real way if perhaps he’s facing some developmental challenges that will affect him throughout his life, but the other part of my mind and heart wants to fight like a mama lion for the chance to let him develop at his own pace.

When I think about all the deprivation he experienced the first 18 months of his life, I celebrate his very deep attachment to us—the way he lays his head on my shoulder when I’m rocking him down for his nap, how he reaches for me or Aaron EVERY TIME he falls down or bumps himself, how he initiates play with us—asking for help, leading us around by the hand, using his hand signs, engaging in songs and activities.

In my heart, Matthew is nothing short of a miracle—and his courage to keep learning and growing every single day inspires me to do the same thing. I have promised myself that I won’t hope small for him—but instead I’ll dream BIG and believe he will achieve amazing things.

Last year at this time, Aaron and I were enjoying our second day in Hong Kong, just a few days away from meeting Matthew for the first time. It’s hard to imagine there was a time when he wasn’t part of our lives—since now he is so deeply embedded in everything that we do.

And I have to say, honestly, that each day as his mama is such a gift to me, because I am reminded about all sorts of things—believing in the best a person can be, loving a child simply because he is mine, and looking closely for milestones, no matter how small, that show my son’s courage and the way he embraces the life before him.

I have always believed that the human spirit longs to not just survive but thrive. If our boy is any indication of this old adage, then I can honestly say it’s true.

Blessed, blessed boy.