Ashes, the ER and surgery

There are ashes on my forehead tonight.

Ashes thanks to my good friend, who also happens to be a pastor, who made a house call with his ash bowl after work today to mark this black smudge on my forehead—a symbolic gesture of an unseen mark that is there already, that is there always.

It’s fitting to wear this black smudge on my forehead after the day (no, the week) we’ve had around her—and after the day that awaits tomorrow. When ashes are marked on the forehead on Ash Wednesday, they come with these words: “remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return.” The topic of this act is the very human, earthliness of our bodies, and it’s the bodies of my children that have been at the forefront of my mind for some days.

We’ve had several bouts of sickness around here, but a few days ago Sam’s bugs took a turn for the worst. The pediatrician suspected appendicitis and sent us to the ER last night, where we sat for over three hours, discouraged and frustrated, until we bundled up our boy and took him home. But this morning, after another conversation with the pediatric nurse, we went back to the ER, where we were indeed admitted and spent several hours. Turns out Sam’s just battling a pretty intensive case of the stomach flu and was severely dehydrated. So we waited at the hospital until his fluid levels were back up to a normal level, and then they sent us home.

Sam in the ER this morning.

Which was a good thing because now we’re home preparing for Matthew to have dental surgery tomorrow. Because of his cleft lip and palate coupled with his orphanage start, Matthew will have ongoing dental challenges for quite a while. We knew that this was a significant possibility when we said yes to a child with cleft. So tomorrow Matthew needs to have a procedure done—one that can’t be done in a dentist’s chair, so they’ve scheduled him into surgery with a general anesthetic so they can fix the problems in his mouth.

Matthew's bath on the eve of his surgical procedure.

Oh dear me, what a crazy few days it’s been, and I anticipate a few crazy days still ahead too. Tonight I’m turning my attention from one child (Sam) to another (Matthew), preparing my mama heart to walk my boy into the OR once again, to sit in the surgery center and wait to hear it’s all gone well, and then to try and comfort our boy as he wakes up from anesthesia.

I’m grateful that my friend, who is also the mama of a beautiful China cleft lip/palate girl, is going to come hang with me at the hospital. It will be good to have some company, especially from someone who kind of gets it (she’s been through surgery with her daughter already too!).

It’s not really all that big of a deal, but after the week we’ve had, with two ER visits, I’m a little spooked by hospitals and not looking forward to tomorrow.

So if you’re reading this and are willing to send some thoughts or prayers Matthew’s way tomorrow, I’d really appreciate it. We could use all the good wishes we can get. Thanks, friends.